Upbringing; A panacea for civil disorder


By Salihu Ridwan Onimasa


Whenever I have a deep thought on human diversity and measuring the length of exposure leading to rising hooliganism in our society, it comes with confusion to justify why some choose the path of darkness when light is obviously the good, far better and even the best. As righteousness is the quality of being morally right, it’s pertinent to emphasize its significance in the process of ‘upbringing’ and the implication of its inadequacy in the same process.


The manifestation of man’s characters evolves with events surrounding the three categorized wide range of personal, social and environmental factors influencing human behaviors that make a personality. Significantly, this review presents approaches to behaviour change and highlights evidence of their effectiveness, as subsidiaries can be assigned to the three major categories of (i) Personal or individual factor: beliefs, knowledge, attitudes, skills and genetics (ii)Social: interaction with other people including parents friends, family and the community
(iii)Environmental: the area in which an individual lives, e.g. school, worship centre, work place, market. Indeed, a complex web of the social factors must be considered when one aims to tackle social vices-related behaviour.


With the rampant disastrous acts caused by the so called good boys(thugs) and cultists in our society today, virtually everyone would know one and would have witnessed the disgusting habits they showcase with pride and fun. In some days back, a news was broken about a young guy who put in entrepreneurial efforts to find his daily bread by frying Puff Puff to sell, the common extortion of the thugs in his community asking for free portion every time got him thinking of being paralyzed economically which made him decline their forceful demand at some point. Seeing his disfiguring picture on social media after being poured a burning palm oil is very disheartening and one could imagine the eternal damages caused to the innocent guy, bearing the consequence of a set of people who were declined righteous upbringing.


The memory of offa bank robbery which claimed many innocent souls, put many families in eternal sorrow and damaged both tangible and intangible valuables still linger. Of course, that was just an elaborate scenario of some sad realities in the State that unfold anytime.


These among other numerous similar scenarios affect every facet of development as we reflect on the regretful past, diminishing present and envisaged implicating future because, when you live among elites, you tend to become one, they also breed their likes as some teenagers rely on them as models they emulate.


As issues like the aforementioned occur with increasing chain of thuggery, hooliganism and cultism, one could admit the fact of its negative effects in the society as there’s increase in thievery, drug abuse, rape, riots; these and more are the reason why we should educate ourselves on the cause so that we can curb, because it’s after identifying a problem you will be able to proffer reasonable solutions.


Every social problem emanates from lack of discipline, and the implication of it is social unrest laced with abnormalities. Most of us grew up in the kind of traditional system where an elder in the community has the right to correct and discipline a wrong doer, and the impacts of such can’t be overlooked. Some who as well went through same later went astray, and I would rather say they are unlucky because, they found themselves in a situation they were incapacitated of.


For every parents, the ultimate goal is to lay a foundation in their children’s young impressionable years, so they will always desire to be righteous. That is the goal, and should always be the goal of every parent. Though parents cannot force children to make the right decisions at all time as they grow, but the principles they have laid down in their early upbringing will to a very large extent make them independent in making right decisions, that’s the “significance of righteous upbringing”!


Some of us were blessed to have parents who were very consistent in parenting. Not all have been privileged to experience a pattern of consistency in parenting, but we all experience the pattern of our spiritual Father, who is totally consistent with us to teach the words of God. We can clearly see from God’s word that the Creator of the universe operates on the “blessings for obedience and correction for disobedience”, this is to buttress the reason we generally don’t grow uprightly is ‘the difference in parenting’ as we learn the same principle in our worship place, but not every parent follows this principle consistently in parenting so as to lay the foundation for the future family of God and social uprightness.


Obviously, parents’ personal examples are of utmost importance! Children must see the real God through their parents’ eyes. Young children’s perception of God/life is primarily developed by their parents’ examples and same goes with all deed. You cannot hope to rear Godly children if you as parents are not genuinely obedient servant of the God, you cannot as well aspire to upbring an upright child when you’re reckless as parents.


With global social perspective, If children see cruelty, intolerance, frequent anger, hypocrisy, self-centeredness with negligence in their parents, they are most likely be attracted to their parents’ attitudes and belief system. Hence, the early experience and authority figures in their youth, in environments will provoke a negative attitude toward God’s authority and social norms later in life and vice versa.


In positive children’s upbringing, parents as the primary role models of a child must be a noble one by practicing kind and firm positive nurturing, love them and show it through actions, being a safe Haven for them by being responsive to their signals and sensitive to their needs, keeping an open line communication and integrate their brains, reflect on your own childhood, and to be psychologically diplomatic when exhibiting authoritative and permissive parenting with monitoring and discipline. This is necessary as a matter of fulfilments in avoiding negative upbringing that in return have negative effects on the society, we must break the chain or reduce it to the barest minimum.


Unfortunately, the deed has been done, and we have the implication of such in our society with examples of those who were wrongly influenced by environmental deviance, and those were unluckily failed through bad parenting, the government must attend to the problems by employing correctional measures to break the chain, embrace sanity and stability. You should agree with me that most of the so called ‘good but actually bad boys’ are supposed artisans who lack the opportunity of empowerment, most have had interest in education but couldn’t get the opportunity of being educated and later got distracted. There’s absolute need to focus on THE RACE by randomly empowering and rehabilitating these set of people, so as for them to serve as role models to their former colleagues and with that aid and more, we shall be more peaceful on humanity progressive movement.


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